The Monkey on my Back

I used to get so angry with my friends sometimes. They’d treat their parents so rudely and with such disrespect. And all I could think is, “How could you treat them like that? You’re so lucky to have them in your life, even if they’re aggravating at times. Do you not realize how lucky you are?” 

Jealously raged through me.

It truly ruined my mood sometimes, as I’d get trapped in my thoughts of how good they have it compared to my broken home. God, it would be so easy to stay angry and hate the world for putting me through so much grief and hardship. I’d know because I fed into it so effortlessly and without remorse at one point, but instead of being engulfed by envy, I used it as a lesson. 

It may have taken some time, but I didn’t want to become a statistic of a vicious cycle. My experiences may have influenced how I am now, but I wouldn’t let it steal all my happiness forever. 

You never know what you have until it’s gone. Appreciation and gratitude were tough lessons to learn, however, the tribulations I faced taught me well. I wish so profoundly that we don’t have to face a loss in order to learn them; I know how traumatizing it can be. 

We can lose so much in life: family, friends, love, our innocence. Any of it can be snatched away at any moment in our life and I wish I could protect the world from it, but that’s a hugely impossible task for a single person. 

I can say to you though, remember what you have instead of wallowing in desire

Imagine your life without all the wonderful people around you; I challenge you to share with them the feelings that thought gives you. Possibly, they’re like you and me, dealing with something in their own way, and my guess would be that feeling appreciated will make all the difference to them. 

If I would have heard those words from the people I needed, then maybe I would have gone through life differently. 

“Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.”

Melody Beattie

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